Ravings of the reluctant housewife

Ravings of the reluctant housewife

‘It’s Monday anew,’ I say with dread,

Supported by the kitchen table.

On hands I hold my jaded head.

My body reluctant, mind unstable.

Time to strip those chaotic divans,

Put the sheets in the washing machine.

Now , the moment for a master plan.

‘Force cover on a duvet’— routine.

Pick up odd socks and knickers galore,

plant with force in the laundry basket.

place toys and such, in a box — not floor.

Step on skate and blow my head gasket.

Take cat litter and place it in bin.

Shake the dog blanket in the garden.

Cat on tray — bulky motions within,

mess on floor — No let up or pardon.

Sweep and dust with absolute force.

Pass vacuum over all the abode.

Words crop up in my mind that are coarse.

Housework — concept to make me explode.

I’ve gained a degree in ‘ology’

But then got a spouse and three kids.

A dog, cat, two hens — zoology?

Now they want hamsters — heaven forbids.

My brood have arrived home with demands

Bringing friends for afternoon  nibbles

Crisps, choc biscuits and squash, the commands

Concede — cos I don’t want no quibbles

Try to cook while I referee spats,

Burnt the onions, the dog chewed the meat.

Extra children are driving me bats.

Want to scream cos’ I’m run off my feet.

Ah, hubby is home from the workplace

‘Have you had a good day?’ he inquires.

Want to throw the dessert in his face

‘Restraint’ — a need — housewife requires

Kids fixed, spare’s left, mine do beds contain

Husband slumbers and snores on the couch

Heavens! — My chores just started again

No wonder I’m such a messed up grouch

Cat litter smells — it’s all over floor,

Dog asleep on settee with the master

I don’t wish to live here, anymore

This house is a total disaster.

Books, toys and sundry are everywhere

Socks and pants are scattered all over

This family’s pushed me as far as they dare

Just as well, they’re all under cover

I’m snuggled in bed, at peace with life

Home is tidy — conclusion? — I won

Man comes on to this ‘beleaguered’ wife.

Am much too tired.....so he’ll not get none.

©June Sciortino  06/08/12